Straight Teeth, Bad Parenting

The desired effect of the following commercial was "Look how much easier our product is for teenagers to deal with than braces."



The actual effect of the previous commercial was "Look how fucking horrible these girls' parents are."
Who plays favorites with their kids like that?! And who hates their twin sister that much? Aren't twins supposed to share some special bond that no other siblings have? What the hell went wrong in the womb to break that?
For those of you who didn't watch the commercial, it goes something like this:

First Identical Twin: I have braces.
Second Identical Twin: I don't.
First Identical Twin: I can't eat popcorn, but someone plopped this full bowl of popcorn in my lap anyway, just to remind me I can't eat any.
Second Idenical Twin: Oh, yeah, I told Mom to do that because we fucking hate you and want you to suffer.
First Identical Twin: I have to wear headgear.
Second Identical Twin: Haha! Loser!
First Identical Twin: Wait, why are you filming me?
Second Identical Twin: I'm gonna show it to that guy you like. Then I'm going to date him.
First Identical Twin: At least my teeth are getting straighter.
Second Identical Twin: Mine are, too, but our parents bought me some fancy product so nobody can tell. Could you not sit so close to me? Someone might realize we're related.

Then Second Identical Twin holds up a sign that says "Thanks, Mom!" (because the posterboard was too small to add "for loving me more than my lameass sister") and both girls smile at the camera.
The entire commercial makes me want to vomit on whoever wrote it, but the fact that they both smile at the camera really pisses me off. Braces Girl has nothing to smile about; her entire family obviously hates her. Seriously, look at the sadistic glee in the Invisalign Girl's eyes when she says "I love popcorn" and points out that she doesn't wear headgear. She's loving the fact that her sister is miserable.
I hope Braces Girl grows up psychopathic and mouth-tortures her parents, her sister and, for good measure, their orthodontist ('cause s/he didn't bother to raise any concerns about how playing favorites could mess with the girls' self esteem). I wonder if Invisalign would sponsor it if I decided to expand this commercial into a full-blown horror movie, using the ad as a jumping off point. (Probably not.)
On the other hand, because she's the only sympathetic character in the commercial, the ad is a failure. I'm really good at holding grudges against companies that make commercials I don't like (I'm looking at you, Apple!) and those thirty one seconds of misery have guaranteed that I will never, ever under any circumstances spend money on Invisalign Teen. Or Invisalign Other Ages.
And if my kids need to have their teeth straightened someday, they'll have braces. And when they ask me why, I'll tell them it's for solidarity with the girl whose parents only loved her twin sister.

Be seeing you.
-Sally