Oh boy! Time for yet another edition of Sally Hates Commercials!
I've been watching a lot of videos on That Guy With The Glasses (lately I'm all about Obscurus Lupa), a site which has ads on before its videos. Which is fine. I have no problem with that in theory. Folks gotta make a living. However, one of their sponsors is Virgin Airlines and ... well, I'll show you my problem:
I'm ... disturbed. There's no other word to describe how this commercial makes me feel. I'm the first to admit that I'm weird about food and, yeah, sometimes I make questionable yummy noises when I'm eating something particularly delicious. But this ... This is wrong. This is twelve kinds of wrong and I can't even put into words what any of those twelve shades of wrong are. It's just ... why?!?!
Implied cannibalism, first of all. Second of all, who imagines their chicken wrap sandwich is a fiery haberdasher? Who makes weird kitty sex noises at their food? I can't watch this ad without feeling completely humiliated for the poor actress who had to actually perform in it. I hope she got paid enough to never have to leave the house again, 'cause I sure as hell would never want to be seen if this thing was on my resume. Everything about it makes me cringe.
Next up, faulty logic!
Well, we've traded disturbing for offensive so ... yay?
Here's a commercial where a woman is flirting with an "attractive" man, drops her phone and, when he turns on the light to find it for her, discovers he's a nerd stereotype from the 1980s! Oh no!
After he turns the light back off and morphs back into the guy who really isn't any better looking than the "nerd" she starts flirting with him again, thus getting his hopes up for a post-flight phone call that he'll never receieve from her because she only likes him in pink lighting.
First of all, I don't like this chick. Let's just get that out of the way. Her overly horrified expession when he turns the light on really reveals her character and she's not somebody I want to know.
More importantly, why doesn't she turn into a different person in the light? Does mood lighting (as they call it) only work on men? She should turn into a stereotype as well. And they can both be horrified by each other. It would be too much of a cliche if they were both revealed to be stereotypes and decided they loved each other anyway. Why can't ugly people be shallow, too? That's at least honest.
I would like this ad so much better if she turned into a different person when they light came on. As it is now, it just doesn't make sense. And it makes me angry.
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Lost Dog Or Something Far More Sinister?
For the past two or three months now I've been seeing a guy standing on street corners near where my brother lives with a giant sign that offers a five thousand dollar reward for a missing chihuahua. I've also seen at least one van driving around with two big magnets of the same sign attached to it.
At first I just thought it was really sad that somebody lost their dog and went about my day.
But I've been seeing this guy for a while now and the logistics of it are getting to me. I'm starting to think it's some sort of weird scam.
They're offering five thousand dollars to get their dog back and the dog has clearly been missing for months now.
They've been paying at least one guy (possibly more) to stand on street corners and wave this "find my dog" sign about for at least two months. (I'm assuming they're paying the guy because I'd imagine the owners can't be spending all their time standing on street corners with signs, they have to have jobs so they can afford to advertise thier missing dog).
They've purchased several professionally made giant signs advertising this missing dog.
Did I mention this has been going on for months?
Now, I love dogs. My family has always had at least one dog and we're the type of people who consider them part of the family. However, we're also the kind of people who realize that they are dogs. If we had a chihuahua who went missing, we'd probably put up some photocopied "Lost Dog" signs around town, but I, for one, would never think to get professionally made giant "Lost Dog" signs and car magnets and hire people to lug them around town. Even if I did, I would give up after a couple weeks.
This has been going on for months. I hate to say it, people, but you're never getting that dog back. She's either dead, gone back to the wild or she lives with a different family now. Perhaps a family who isn't insane.
Seriously, either these people are incredibly rich and have no problem spending their money on lost dog frivolities, or they're up to something. What, I don't know. I honestly can't figure out how a lost dog scam would work. Who is the target? What is the desired outcome? You can't exactly steal people's identities by offering them money for finding your missing dog (can you?) so what could they be possibly trying to gain if it is a scam?
And if it isn't a scam, how could they possibly afford and justify spending this much money on "have you seen my dog?" ads? It's completely illogical and it's driving me crazy!
If they really did lose their dog I'm sad for them, but get a new fucking dog already!
Be seeing you.
-Sally
At first I just thought it was really sad that somebody lost their dog and went about my day.
But I've been seeing this guy for a while now and the logistics of it are getting to me. I'm starting to think it's some sort of weird scam.
They're offering five thousand dollars to get their dog back and the dog has clearly been missing for months now.
They've been paying at least one guy (possibly more) to stand on street corners and wave this "find my dog" sign about for at least two months. (I'm assuming they're paying the guy because I'd imagine the owners can't be spending all their time standing on street corners with signs, they have to have jobs so they can afford to advertise thier missing dog).
They've purchased several professionally made giant signs advertising this missing dog.
Did I mention this has been going on for months?
Now, I love dogs. My family has always had at least one dog and we're the type of people who consider them part of the family. However, we're also the kind of people who realize that they are dogs. If we had a chihuahua who went missing, we'd probably put up some photocopied "Lost Dog" signs around town, but I, for one, would never think to get professionally made giant "Lost Dog" signs and car magnets and hire people to lug them around town. Even if I did, I would give up after a couple weeks.
This has been going on for months. I hate to say it, people, but you're never getting that dog back. She's either dead, gone back to the wild or she lives with a different family now. Perhaps a family who isn't insane.
Seriously, either these people are incredibly rich and have no problem spending their money on lost dog frivolities, or they're up to something. What, I don't know. I honestly can't figure out how a lost dog scam would work. Who is the target? What is the desired outcome? You can't exactly steal people's identities by offering them money for finding your missing dog (can you?) so what could they be possibly trying to gain if it is a scam?
And if it isn't a scam, how could they possibly afford and justify spending this much money on "have you seen my dog?" ads? It's completely illogical and it's driving me crazy!
If they really did lose their dog I'm sad for them, but get a new fucking dog already!
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Thursday, May 17, 2012
One Of Life's Little Joys
This morning, my friend's band played on Good Day LA.
(I haven't actually watched this video so I don't know if it shows the whole segment. If it does, they're the last ninety seconds or so of it.)
They weren't on for very long but it was still the coolest fucking thing I've seen all week. There's just an awesome novelty in seeing a friend on television that I will never grow out of enjoying.
(I talked to him a bit after the taping. He said it was a lot of fun, it was cool to see all the hosts first thing in the morning without makeup and that Steve Edwards rocked out with them.)
Be seeing you.
-Sally
(I haven't actually watched this video so I don't know if it shows the whole segment. If it does, they're the last ninety seconds or so of it.)
They weren't on for very long but it was still the coolest fucking thing I've seen all week. There's just an awesome novelty in seeing a friend on television that I will never grow out of enjoying.
(I talked to him a bit after the taping. He said it was a lot of fun, it was cool to see all the hosts first thing in the morning without makeup and that Steve Edwards rocked out with them.)
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Here Goes Nothing
Look, it's me singing Every Major's Terrible (lyrics by XKCD).
Ewwwwwwwwwww!
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Ewwwwwwwwwww!
Be seeing you.
-Sally
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