Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I May Have Posted This Before

I honestly don't remember. If it is a rerun, however, I don't apologize. Not even a little. Because I need this movie:



Bill Hicks was a hero. He was funny and smart and wonderful and I'm totally in love with him. You know, in a fangirly way. Because he's great.

Be seeing you.
-Sally

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Number Six Is Eighty Three

Or he would be, if he were still alive.
I had a hard time finding Youtube videos that felt like proper tributes, but I settled on a few.
First of all, a clip from an episode of Danger Man I watched just last night. I chose this one for two reasons. First of all, because I've been referring to him for years as "My Punching Hero" and this demonstrates why. Secondly, because this scene made me laugh out loud when I was watching the episode.



Second is bits of an interview or something about Lew Grade. Don't watch this one if you've never seen The Prisoner. I'm not kidding even a little. It spoils the ending. (The rest of the interview is neat, though, so I'm posting it. It's my blog, damn it!)



And, finally, ten minutes of various movie and television clips (which I haven't actually watched yet, it just sounded like fun).



If anybody knows where I can get a copy of the BBC Sunday Night Play episode "The Prisoner," (not the Danger Man episode "The Prisoner" nor the seventeen-episode my-favorite-television-series-ever The Prisoner ... I swear, it was like he was a prisoner of the title The Prisoner) I would be ever so grateful.
(Tangible copies are best; I prefer to have things on VHS and DVD. Things aren't real if I can't touch them. Downloads make my heart sad.)
Oh, and also I'd like to post a quote from an interview with Patrick McGoohan from The Official Prisoner Companion. The quote is an explanation on what the pennyfarthing symbol stood for, a paragraph which struck such a chord with me back when I was sixteen that I decided to get a tattoo of the pennyfarthing:

"We live in an era where science is advancing so quickly, you don't even have time to learn about the last innovations before something new arises; making what you've learned obsolete. It's the same with the newspapers. They're so busy cranking out information that before you get a chance to digest it, they're cramming something else down your throat! Everything is moving very fast, possibly too fast ... before its time."

Happy birthday Patrick McGoohan!!! You are, and forever will be, my hero (punching optional).

Be seeing you.
-Sally

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Straight Teeth, Bad Parenting

The desired effect of the following commercial was "Look how much easier our product is for teenagers to deal with than braces."



The actual effect of the previous commercial was "Look how fucking horrible these girls' parents are."
Who plays favorites with their kids like that?! And who hates their twin sister that much? Aren't twins supposed to share some special bond that no other siblings have? What the hell went wrong in the womb to break that?
For those of you who didn't watch the commercial, it goes something like this:

First Identical Twin: I have braces.
Second Identical Twin: I don't.
First Identical Twin: I can't eat popcorn, but someone plopped this full bowl of popcorn in my lap anyway, just to remind me I can't eat any.
Second Idenical Twin: Oh, yeah, I told Mom to do that because we fucking hate you and want you to suffer.
First Identical Twin: I have to wear headgear.
Second Identical Twin: Haha! Loser!
First Identical Twin: Wait, why are you filming me?
Second Identical Twin: I'm gonna show it to that guy you like. Then I'm going to date him.
First Identical Twin: At least my teeth are getting straighter.
Second Identical Twin: Mine are, too, but our parents bought me some fancy product so nobody can tell. Could you not sit so close to me? Someone might realize we're related.

Then Second Identical Twin holds up a sign that says "Thanks, Mom!" (because the posterboard was too small to add "for loving me more than my lameass sister") and both girls smile at the camera.
The entire commercial makes me want to vomit on whoever wrote it, but the fact that they both smile at the camera really pisses me off. Braces Girl has nothing to smile about; her entire family obviously hates her. Seriously, look at the sadistic glee in the Invisalign Girl's eyes when she says "I love popcorn" and points out that she doesn't wear headgear. She's loving the fact that her sister is miserable.
I hope Braces Girl grows up psychopathic and mouth-tortures her parents, her sister and, for good measure, their orthodontist ('cause s/he didn't bother to raise any concerns about how playing favorites could mess with the girls' self esteem). I wonder if Invisalign would sponsor it if I decided to expand this commercial into a full-blown horror movie, using the ad as a jumping off point. (Probably not.)
On the other hand, because she's the only sympathetic character in the commercial, the ad is a failure. I'm really good at holding grudges against companies that make commercials I don't like (I'm looking at you, Apple!) and those thirty one seconds of misery have guaranteed that I will never, ever under any circumstances spend money on Invisalign Teen. Or Invisalign Other Ages.
And if my kids need to have their teeth straightened someday, they'll have braces. And when they ask me why, I'll tell them it's for solidarity with the girl whose parents only loved her twin sister.

Be seeing you.
-Sally

(Something In German!)

This is super catchy!



I have no idea what the heck he's singing about but I don't care. I could listen to it fifty times today.
Maybe it'll finally get that damn Olivia Newton-John song out of my head.

Be seeing you.
-Sally

Monday, March 14, 2011

Tired Today

But these made me laugh:

funny puns - Walked Into a Bra
see more So Much Pun

Also, this made me super happy:

funny puns - Well, is There a Reward Involved?
see more So Much Pun

I don't even like that song!

Be seeing you.
-Sally

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Hey Nonny Nonny Na Tra La La Fa La La La La La La



Be seeing you.
-Sally

Oh My God, So Much Better

So, you know how I said I can't stand to watch the Rocky Horror opening credits because, even though the song is wonderful, closeups of mouths make me nauseated?
Turns out the original concept for the opening credits was closer to this:



According to legend (AKA the info box on Youtube) test audiences reacted negatively to this one, so they changed to to Patricia Quinn's giant mouth, which I react negatively to.
Once again, I hate the practice of using test audiences. For many, many reasons. But this is one of them.

Be seeing you.
-Sally

Monday, March 7, 2011

Unaccepted

Last month I applied to a music school to enroll in their vocal program. Last week I got phone calls and emails from the school's housing and financial aid departments, asking if I'd need help finding a place to live and giving me forms I needed to fill out for them to figure out how much financial aid I'd be getting and blah blah.
So I assumed I had been accepted to the school and started making plans accordingly.
Today I got a phone call telling me I hadn't been accepted because I have some "pitch issues" and because they couldn't tell what "style" I sing in. I was encouraged to take private lessons (when I told them I already do, he suggested I also take lessons with one of the school's teachers) and apply again for the fall semester.
I'm having mixed feelings about all of this.
ANNOYED: Why would the housing and financial aid offices be contacting me if I'm not accepted to the school?
RELIEVED: If I had been accepted, I'd only have a month to find an apartment and generally get my shit together before school started. It seemed too soon. Now I have some breathing room (in time form).
HURT: Okay, I know I'm not perfect (no singer is) but singing is the only thing in the world I feel like I'm any good at, and today I was essentially told "You're not good enough for us to even try to teach you."
Last time that happened (about ten years ago when I auditioned for a community college choir) I gave up on singing for years and went to culinary school (which was the wrong choice). It completely crushed me and I'm feeling a bit of that again.
Also, I've been taking private voice lessons. Are they, by proxy, telling me my voice teacher isn't good enough either? 'Cause my voice teacher is awesome.
Yeah, I'm feeling deflated. It really stings to be told you're not good enough at the one thing you have any confidence in your ability to do. I don't necessarily want to be told I'm wonderful or the best ever, because I'm not, but according to these people I'm not even acceptable. If that's the case, why should I even bother trying?
DISTASTE: "What style" do I sing in? I do what feels natural. Why do we have to put things into boxes and categories and labels and genres? Maybe I don't even want to go to this school if they're going to have that attitude.
DETERMINED: Fine, I'll just figure out a Plan B. I'll find my path in life without them. I know I can sing, now it's just a matter of figuring out how to use that to make a living without using school as a means to do it.
LIGHTER: I mean, heck, why did I even want to go back to school? The mere idea of student loan payments makes me feel stressed out and trapped. And I've always been bad at school (I just don't have the right kind of brain for it). Maybe this is a good thing after all.
HURT AGAIN: What if I'm not any good at singing? Maybe everybody who has complimented me was just being nice or biased because they're people who care about me? What if I suck?
Actually, sucking doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it. I mean, hell, Christina Aguilera has a career and she has possibly the worst voice in the history of music.
I really hope my rejection doesn't mean I'm worse than Christina Aguilera.
RATIONAL: I wasn't out and out rejected. I was just told I need a little more work before the school is ready to accept me. I wasn't rejected, I was just told I'm not good enough.
Wait. That's the same thing as rejection. I guess that means I'm going to go back to feeling
HURT YET AGAIN.

Be seeing you.
-Sally

Sunday, March 6, 2011

I'm Running On About Three Hours Of Sleep

Here are some thoughts for the day.

- I'm bloody sick of people telling me I'm "missing out" when I tell them I don't watch Glee. I can tell from the previews that if I watched Glee, I would hate it.
First of all, I'm jealous that these people get to make their living singing and I don't.
Second of all, I've heard some of the songs from the show and I really don't like what I've heard.
Thirdly, Jane Lynch is cool but not cool enough to balance out the extreme irritant that is Leah Michelle.

- Patrick McGoohan was on an episode of The Adventures Of Sir Lancelot back in the day. His character was named Sir Glavin. That makes me giggle.

- Yesterday at the grocery story I found boxes of Strawberry Cream Twinkies and Chocolate Cream Twinkies. Yes, I bought them. Haven't tried the chocolate ones yet (I'm a bigger fan of chocolate so I'm saving the good ones for last) but the strawberry ones are acceptable.

- On December 22, 2012, the Ancient Mayans will all need to buy new calendars. (I never said all my thoughts were original ones.)

- It bugs me that all three books about The Prisoner that I own really like the episode Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling (AKA the only bad episode of The Prisoner). It's a straightforward brain swap story, Patrick McGoohan isn't in it and the plot is stupid.
"Hey, we have this brain swap machine, but it only works one way. Let's put Number Six's brain in another guy and send him to fetch the scientist who can switch the brains back." (Interestingly, Futurama recently did a one-way brain-swap machine episode and it was really entertaining. What's that all about?)
That's right, The Village sent Number Six out to run a fucking errand for them. "Oh, we can't find the scientist guy." I'm not buying it. The Village is a giant, creepy, all-knowing organization. There's no way they couldn't find that scientist. Having Number Six go find him for them was essentially the same as The Village admitting defeat. "Okay, you're right, you are better than us." Kind of defeats the purpose of the show, doesn't it? Kind of?
And also, all that business with Number Six's fiance doesn't sit right with me, either. It's obvious in the opening sequence he's packing to go on holiday alone; this lady seems way too needy to let him go on vacation without her.
And I would imagine Number Six, if he were engaged to anyone at all, wouldn't be into Worriedface McBlandywhine.
And she only shows up in the episode because she sees his car parked out front. If she really existed (I've mentally Retconned the whole episode; it isn't canon as far as I'm concerned) she would have shown up in Many Happy Returns with her worried face, whining about her "darling" because she saw his car out front. It's implied Mrs. Butterworth had been driving the car for a while...
Long story short, I hate that episode. It's the only weak one in the series, but it's weak to almost epic proportions. (Everything The Prisoner did, it did to epic proportions.)
I understand the whole "How do we make an episode without the star?" dilemma (Patrick McGoohan was in Hollywood filming Ice Station Zebra at the time) but it's depressing that Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling was the best they could come up with.

- I know I complain a lot about The Rocky Horror Picture Show and its awfulness. However, I can't write it off completely. Even if I get sick of all the other songs, there is one song that I will never, ever get sick of and that I actually count as one of the best songs ever written ever: Science Fiction Double Feature. It's just simple and beautiful and perfect for what it is, and it's really a shame that it's from Rocky Horror. It deserves better than that.

- It also deserves better than the opening sequence it goes with. I have this problem where I can't stand extreme close ups of mouths. I have no idea why but that sort of thing always makes me nauseous. I can eat while watching gore-tastic movies without any problem but, for example, there used to be a commercial for a local radio station that consisted of a close up of a woman's mouth lip synching a bunch of classic rock songs. That commercial made me unbelievably sick to my stomach. I'm so glad that station went out of business.

- It's noon. I should probably get dressed.

- My dad bought me the complete series of Danger Man (he's nice like that) and I really want to watch it, but every time I go to put the disc in the DVD player, I chicken out and watch Food Network instead. I have no idea why; I really really want to watch Danger Man. I think I'm afraid I won't like it. There's nothing about the show to imply I wouldn't (it combines two of my favorite things: secret agents and Patrick McGoohan) and yet I'm watching Sandra Lee make some sort of fried fish cake. What the heck is wrong with me?

- I should eat lunch after I get dressed.

- Last night I went karaoke-ing with my cousin, her boyfriend and his sister. We were there for four hours, it was epic and amazing and fun, and my voice is barely functional today. However, a lot of songs from Wicked were sung. I haven't seen Wicked and was unfamiliar with pretty much all the music from it. Turns out, I'm not a fan. I've had Defying Gravity stuck in my head all morning and I'm getting ready to smash something.
And I was super confused when I found out that song is the end of act one, 'cause it really sounds to me like the lead character dies at the end of that song.

Be seeing you.
-Sally

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Burly Men In Pastel Polo Shirts

Embedding was disabled (jerks) but I have to share this:
Bearforce1 Megamix!
It's so catchy!!!

Be seeing you.
-Sally

Thanks, Nerdist!

The things I share with you today are all things shared with me (well, with anyone who goes there) by Nerdist.com.
First, we have a Firefly / Rodeohead fan video:




I've never seen Firefly (... that's not true, I've seen one episode) because the premise never really interested me and Joss Whedon kinda bugs me (yes, I am a fan of both Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel, but I also have a lot of serious issues with both shows). However, this video made me think I'd like to see Firefly after all.
Next, are links to "Fifty Four Cereals We Loved And Lost" and "Thom Yorke Dancing To Rodeohead".
And, finally, a video called Carlin Step:



Be seeing you.
-Sally