What's The Point Of All The Beauty In The World If You Won't Share It With Me

The first thing I want to say has nothing to do with anything: I am not a politically minded person. I recognize names of politicians and don't know anything about them beyond the fact that I recognize the names. That being said, I don't like Newt Gingrich because not only is his first name Newt but his surname might as well be Grinch. That is my political commentary for the year.
Now, on to the reason I actually came here: to write an embarrassing post about loneliness that I would regret later if it weren't for the fact that nobody reads this blog.
First of all, almost invariably when I open up to a friend or family member about how I hate the fact that I've never had a boyfriend or any sort of romantic connection to anyone, they respond with "It's not that great." To which I always want to respond "You know what? Fuck you and go to hell!" I don't care if you think it's that great or not, it doesn't change the fact that I'm motherfucking lonely, and whoop de doo for you that you've had someone love you back so that you can take it for granted enough to try and trivialize my feelings.
I'm also sick of people telling me "Oh, you're a late bloomer." No I'm not. I bloomed on time, no one wanted me. Everyone continues to not want me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to fix it because nobody will fucking tell me. (Drag queens tried to, sort of, but while I had a fun time getting that makeover, I'd rather someone love me and not Jezebel Fever.)
I have been in love before, but it's never been reciprocated. The same thing always happens: I fall for guys I'm friends with. Either we're friends first and then I fall for them or I get a crush on them and strike up a friendship that refuses to ever be anything but friendship. Friendship is always where I stay. There's nothing beyond that for me. I'm a friend or I don't exist (hell, even when I'm a friend half the time it's like I don't exist anyway).
There's a song by Descendents called In Love This Way that actually sums up my situation better than I ever could:



"I wonder if I'm more than just a friend; did I really see a fire or just inside my head? Sometimes I know you just want me to go away. It's so hard to be a friend and be in love this way."
This has been happening to me since junior high school and it's a pattern I can't figure out how to break. And it, coupled with the fact that I haven't figured out yet what I want to do with my life, is making it very difficult to see the point in continuing to exist at all.
That sounds far more melodramatic than I meant it to. I'm not contemplating suicide or anything; I'm just frustrated with the rut of aimlessness and loneliness I've gotten myself stuck in.
On the flipside, I'm pretty much the best example to prove all those people who think homosexuality is a choice are wrong: if it were, I would have chosen to be a lesbian a long time ago. I think I'd have better luck with women than with men.

Be seeing you.
-Sally

I Don't Feel Like Coming Up With A Title For This Post

I just feel like listening to this song over and over.



Hell yes! Local H rocks!!! It's a shame I'm not more familiar with their music. I like every song I've heard by them, why haven't I bothered to become a bigger fan?
I don't know.
Oh well.
I'm going to listen to California Songs again.

Be seeing you.
-Sally

This Post Contains A Curse Word I Love But Rarely Say Because It Really Offends A Lot Of People

Holy mother of everything that is right with the world, I hate this commercial:



Now let me tell you why:
Because the shallow, materialistic cunt who won't shut up is supposed to be the protagonist here. We, the audience, are supposed to find her outburst charming, cute or even relateable. Because apparently Christmas is about getting what you want, not appreciating the fact that you have friends and family who love you enough to give you anything at all.
I love Christmas. I love the season, the decorations, the food that always seems to come with the season, and I love both giving and receiving presents. I tend to give presents without consulting people's wish lists because I'd rather put some thought into the gifts and give people things that I either find or make with them in mind. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but it comes from a place of caring.
Conversely, I don't care what I get for Christmas. It's always nice to get stuff from a wish list, but the only gift I can think of that I wouldn't appreciate is poison. Heck, just a card is enough. It's kind of the point of Christmas, isn't is? Showing your family and friends that you love and appreciate them by graciously exchanging gifts or sending cards or spending time together?
Obviously this bitch cares more about getting new clothes than she cares about her family or the Christmas season.
Therefore, the only way this commercial would be any good would be if it was extended to show this same family on Christmas morning, with everybody happily exchanging presents, with the exception of Materialistic Outburst Girl, because her family put all the gifts intended for her up for sale on Ebay as soon as she finished her little solo.

Be seeing you.
-Sally