Tonight I said something about how I'm mad at technology for murdering video stores. Then Scott kind of made fun of that statement by telling me I should blame other vague concepts for ruining specific things (or something like that; I honestly didn't really understand what he was talking about). I don't think he realized how much I meant what I said. Directly or indirectly, the internet and other advancing technologies are to blame for the death of the video store and, while there are some left, they're few and far between and difficult to find.
Looking at lists of movies on Netflix will never match browsing through video stores, especially independently owned video stores that rented out all kinds of stuff you'd never hear of otherwise, movies created for the nichest of markets and bootleg videos of concerts, music videos, old timey burlesque stuff and other few-of-a-kind delights.
No matter how awful a mood I'm in, the one thing guaranteed to cheer me up is going to a video store (preferrably with a friend or two but it also works if I go alone, just not as well) and just looking around, seeing what's there, finding things I'd like to watch and making fun of movies that look terrible.
Some of my favorite childhood memories revolve around video stores (which probably just says more about what kind of child I was than anything else): the talking Frankenhooker box; my older brother covering my eyes and walking me into the kids' section because I was afraid of the Child's Play 2 standee right next to the store's entrance; choosing a movie, remembering all the parts I hated about that movie and changing my mind, thus making every trip to rent a movie a ridiculously long ordeal that I'm sure frustrated my parents; looking at all the posters on the walls advertising movies that nobody thinks about anymore (Repossessed, for instance, and some movie where groom who I think is Dudley Moore has two brides).
In fact, I think the decor of the video stores I grew up in heavily influenced my design aesthetic: a house isn't a home if entire walls aren't covered in posters.
Video stores were my Valhalla and technology killed them. The internet stole my safehaven. (Insert third melodramatic sentence expressing a similar sentiment to the previous two here.) Sure, I love a lot of what the internet has to offer (the fact that it's made music videos easy to find now that Music Television has stopped having anything to do with music, for instance, and the fact that I can research bands and actors and such without having to fruitlessly wade through back issues of magazines at the library) but it's sad that video stores had to be a casualty in the abundance of accessible information.
I want video stores back.
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
Childish Thoughts
Today my aunt and I were babysitting my six year old niece and her (my aunt's) ten year old grandchildren, all three of whom are kids I ordinarily like.
Right before I left (indeed, the incident that inspired me to leave), my niece started whispering things to her cousins, and then all three of them looked over at me and started laughing. I immediately felt like I was nine years old, overcome by a rush of hurt and helplessness and confusion identical to the emotions I felt when I got made fun of in elementary school.
Now that I'm home it's taking all my willpower to not comfort-eat the large bag of peanut M&Ms I bought last night.
And now I can't decide which is more disturbing to me: the fact that my niece seems to be heading down the path of becoming the kind of kid that treats people horribly for no good reason or the fact that, at almost thirty years old, I haven't grown out of the feeling of abject misery that comes with people whispering and laughing at you.
No fooling, it's going to take a hell of a lot to cheer me up today. It'll take an incident of Gogol-Bordello-playing-an-impromptu-concert-in-my-backyard proportions. That's how deep it cut. I imagine other people having flashbacks to being teased mercilessly for what felt like no good reason would have a similar reaction.
But I still feel like somehow I'm wrong or overreacting or something. I mean, I should just let it go, right? They're little kids. They don't know any better.
Except when I was a little kid, the people teasing me and making me hate myself were also little kids. And they sure seemed to know better. It was a "malice aforethought" kind of thing.
What inspires people to act that way?
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Right before I left (indeed, the incident that inspired me to leave), my niece started whispering things to her cousins, and then all three of them looked over at me and started laughing. I immediately felt like I was nine years old, overcome by a rush of hurt and helplessness and confusion identical to the emotions I felt when I got made fun of in elementary school.
Now that I'm home it's taking all my willpower to not comfort-eat the large bag of peanut M&Ms I bought last night.
And now I can't decide which is more disturbing to me: the fact that my niece seems to be heading down the path of becoming the kind of kid that treats people horribly for no good reason or the fact that, at almost thirty years old, I haven't grown out of the feeling of abject misery that comes with people whispering and laughing at you.
No fooling, it's going to take a hell of a lot to cheer me up today. It'll take an incident of Gogol-Bordello-playing-an-impromptu-concert-in-my-backyard proportions. That's how deep it cut. I imagine other people having flashbacks to being teased mercilessly for what felt like no good reason would have a similar reaction.
But I still feel like somehow I'm wrong or overreacting or something. I mean, I should just let it go, right? They're little kids. They don't know any better.
Except when I was a little kid, the people teasing me and making me hate myself were also little kids. And they sure seemed to know better. It was a "malice aforethought" kind of thing.
What inspires people to act that way?
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Signs And Spanx
Two things have been bugging me today.
First, I watched Nostalgia Critic's review of Signs yesterday. It was very funny and he pointed out a lot of plot holes, including one that everybody points out even though it is not a plot hole and is very easily explained.
The complaint: "If water is like acid to the aliens, why would they invade a planet that's mostly water?"
The answer: You're a fucking idiot.
I will answer your question with a question of my own: Why do you think they know what water is?
You know what the whole point of aliens is? The fact that they're fucking aliens. They're not from Earth. You do realize planets that are not Earth don't have the same qualities as Earth, right? They probably all have elements that we've never heard of because they don't exist on this planet. Meaning aliens most likely don't need oxygen to survive and there's a good chance they've never encountered water before. They don't have water on their planet, they don't know what it is and, therefore, don't know it's like acid to them.
Dumbass.
The second thing that's been bugging me is Spanx (and Spanx-like products). For those of you who don't know, Spanx is a brand name pantyhose-girdle thing that holds in your stomach or butt or thighs or whatever so you can look slimmer than you actually are.
As far as I can tell, there are only two reasons to wear something like that:
1) you're on a television show and drag queens make you wear them (I have firsthand experience in this category)
2) you're trying to attract a mate
People try to put a lot of emphasis on their looks in order to attract someone to get naked with. Okay, fine, whatever. I can understand that. However, if you're putting on undergarments that make you look slimmer than you are and then are successful in finding a sex partner (be it a relationship or a one night stand, I'm not going to judge), they're going to find out that you are, in fact, fatter than you first seemed and your slenderness was actually an illusion created by really ugly undergarments.
What's the point? Why not go out and find someone who will like you for you? Be comfortable with who you are. If you're really that unhappy with your fatness, go exercise and lose some weight. Use it or lose it, baby.
In other words, I have no respect for Spanx.
Be seeing you.
-Sally
First, I watched Nostalgia Critic's review of Signs yesterday. It was very funny and he pointed out a lot of plot holes, including one that everybody points out even though it is not a plot hole and is very easily explained.
The complaint: "If water is like acid to the aliens, why would they invade a planet that's mostly water?"
The answer: You're a fucking idiot.
I will answer your question with a question of my own: Why do you think they know what water is?
You know what the whole point of aliens is? The fact that they're fucking aliens. They're not from Earth. You do realize planets that are not Earth don't have the same qualities as Earth, right? They probably all have elements that we've never heard of because they don't exist on this planet. Meaning aliens most likely don't need oxygen to survive and there's a good chance they've never encountered water before. They don't have water on their planet, they don't know what it is and, therefore, don't know it's like acid to them.
Dumbass.
The second thing that's been bugging me is Spanx (and Spanx-like products). For those of you who don't know, Spanx is a brand name pantyhose-girdle thing that holds in your stomach or butt or thighs or whatever so you can look slimmer than you actually are.
As far as I can tell, there are only two reasons to wear something like that:
1) you're on a television show and drag queens make you wear them (I have firsthand experience in this category)
2) you're trying to attract a mate
People try to put a lot of emphasis on their looks in order to attract someone to get naked with. Okay, fine, whatever. I can understand that. However, if you're putting on undergarments that make you look slimmer than you are and then are successful in finding a sex partner (be it a relationship or a one night stand, I'm not going to judge), they're going to find out that you are, in fact, fatter than you first seemed and your slenderness was actually an illusion created by really ugly undergarments.
What's the point? Why not go out and find someone who will like you for you? Be comfortable with who you are. If you're really that unhappy with your fatness, go exercise and lose some weight. Use it or lose it, baby.
In other words, I have no respect for Spanx.
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Disturbing Sandwiches And Lighting Confusion
Oh boy! Time for yet another edition of Sally Hates Commercials!
I've been watching a lot of videos on That Guy With The Glasses (lately I'm all about Obscurus Lupa), a site which has ads on before its videos. Which is fine. I have no problem with that in theory. Folks gotta make a living. However, one of their sponsors is Virgin Airlines and ... well, I'll show you my problem:
I'm ... disturbed. There's no other word to describe how this commercial makes me feel. I'm the first to admit that I'm weird about food and, yeah, sometimes I make questionable yummy noises when I'm eating something particularly delicious. But this ... This is wrong. This is twelve kinds of wrong and I can't even put into words what any of those twelve shades of wrong are. It's just ... why?!?!
Implied cannibalism, first of all. Second of all, who imagines their chicken wrap sandwich is a fiery haberdasher? Who makes weird kitty sex noises at their food? I can't watch this ad without feeling completely humiliated for the poor actress who had to actually perform in it. I hope she got paid enough to never have to leave the house again, 'cause I sure as hell would never want to be seen if this thing was on my resume. Everything about it makes me cringe.
Next up, faulty logic!
Well, we've traded disturbing for offensive so ... yay?
Here's a commercial where a woman is flirting with an "attractive" man, drops her phone and, when he turns on the light to find it for her, discovers he's a nerd stereotype from the 1980s! Oh no!
After he turns the light back off and morphs back into the guy who really isn't any better looking than the "nerd" she starts flirting with him again, thus getting his hopes up for a post-flight phone call that he'll never receieve from her because she only likes him in pink lighting.
First of all, I don't like this chick. Let's just get that out of the way. Her overly horrified expession when he turns the light on really reveals her character and she's not somebody I want to know.
More importantly, why doesn't she turn into a different person in the light? Does mood lighting (as they call it) only work on men? She should turn into a stereotype as well. And they can both be horrified by each other. It would be too much of a cliche if they were both revealed to be stereotypes and decided they loved each other anyway. Why can't ugly people be shallow, too? That's at least honest.
I would like this ad so much better if she turned into a different person when they light came on. As it is now, it just doesn't make sense. And it makes me angry.
Be seeing you.
-Sally
I've been watching a lot of videos on That Guy With The Glasses (lately I'm all about Obscurus Lupa), a site which has ads on before its videos. Which is fine. I have no problem with that in theory. Folks gotta make a living. However, one of their sponsors is Virgin Airlines and ... well, I'll show you my problem:
I'm ... disturbed. There's no other word to describe how this commercial makes me feel. I'm the first to admit that I'm weird about food and, yeah, sometimes I make questionable yummy noises when I'm eating something particularly delicious. But this ... This is wrong. This is twelve kinds of wrong and I can't even put into words what any of those twelve shades of wrong are. It's just ... why?!?!
Implied cannibalism, first of all. Second of all, who imagines their chicken wrap sandwich is a fiery haberdasher? Who makes weird kitty sex noises at their food? I can't watch this ad without feeling completely humiliated for the poor actress who had to actually perform in it. I hope she got paid enough to never have to leave the house again, 'cause I sure as hell would never want to be seen if this thing was on my resume. Everything about it makes me cringe.
Next up, faulty logic!
Well, we've traded disturbing for offensive so ... yay?
Here's a commercial where a woman is flirting with an "attractive" man, drops her phone and, when he turns on the light to find it for her, discovers he's a nerd stereotype from the 1980s! Oh no!
After he turns the light back off and morphs back into the guy who really isn't any better looking than the "nerd" she starts flirting with him again, thus getting his hopes up for a post-flight phone call that he'll never receieve from her because she only likes him in pink lighting.
First of all, I don't like this chick. Let's just get that out of the way. Her overly horrified expession when he turns the light on really reveals her character and she's not somebody I want to know.
More importantly, why doesn't she turn into a different person in the light? Does mood lighting (as they call it) only work on men? She should turn into a stereotype as well. And they can both be horrified by each other. It would be too much of a cliche if they were both revealed to be stereotypes and decided they loved each other anyway. Why can't ugly people be shallow, too? That's at least honest.
I would like this ad so much better if she turned into a different person when they light came on. As it is now, it just doesn't make sense. And it makes me angry.
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Lost Dog Or Something Far More Sinister?
For the past two or three months now I've been seeing a guy standing on street corners near where my brother lives with a giant sign that offers a five thousand dollar reward for a missing chihuahua. I've also seen at least one van driving around with two big magnets of the same sign attached to it.
At first I just thought it was really sad that somebody lost their dog and went about my day.
But I've been seeing this guy for a while now and the logistics of it are getting to me. I'm starting to think it's some sort of weird scam.
They're offering five thousand dollars to get their dog back and the dog has clearly been missing for months now.
They've been paying at least one guy (possibly more) to stand on street corners and wave this "find my dog" sign about for at least two months. (I'm assuming they're paying the guy because I'd imagine the owners can't be spending all their time standing on street corners with signs, they have to have jobs so they can afford to advertise thier missing dog).
They've purchased several professionally made giant signs advertising this missing dog.
Did I mention this has been going on for months?
Now, I love dogs. My family has always had at least one dog and we're the type of people who consider them part of the family. However, we're also the kind of people who realize that they are dogs. If we had a chihuahua who went missing, we'd probably put up some photocopied "Lost Dog" signs around town, but I, for one, would never think to get professionally made giant "Lost Dog" signs and car magnets and hire people to lug them around town. Even if I did, I would give up after a couple weeks.
This has been going on for months. I hate to say it, people, but you're never getting that dog back. She's either dead, gone back to the wild or she lives with a different family now. Perhaps a family who isn't insane.
Seriously, either these people are incredibly rich and have no problem spending their money on lost dog frivolities, or they're up to something. What, I don't know. I honestly can't figure out how a lost dog scam would work. Who is the target? What is the desired outcome? You can't exactly steal people's identities by offering them money for finding your missing dog (can you?) so what could they be possibly trying to gain if it is a scam?
And if it isn't a scam, how could they possibly afford and justify spending this much money on "have you seen my dog?" ads? It's completely illogical and it's driving me crazy!
If they really did lose their dog I'm sad for them, but get a new fucking dog already!
Be seeing you.
-Sally
At first I just thought it was really sad that somebody lost their dog and went about my day.
But I've been seeing this guy for a while now and the logistics of it are getting to me. I'm starting to think it's some sort of weird scam.
They're offering five thousand dollars to get their dog back and the dog has clearly been missing for months now.
They've been paying at least one guy (possibly more) to stand on street corners and wave this "find my dog" sign about for at least two months. (I'm assuming they're paying the guy because I'd imagine the owners can't be spending all their time standing on street corners with signs, they have to have jobs so they can afford to advertise thier missing dog).
They've purchased several professionally made giant signs advertising this missing dog.
Did I mention this has been going on for months?
Now, I love dogs. My family has always had at least one dog and we're the type of people who consider them part of the family. However, we're also the kind of people who realize that they are dogs. If we had a chihuahua who went missing, we'd probably put up some photocopied "Lost Dog" signs around town, but I, for one, would never think to get professionally made giant "Lost Dog" signs and car magnets and hire people to lug them around town. Even if I did, I would give up after a couple weeks.
This has been going on for months. I hate to say it, people, but you're never getting that dog back. She's either dead, gone back to the wild or she lives with a different family now. Perhaps a family who isn't insane.
Seriously, either these people are incredibly rich and have no problem spending their money on lost dog frivolities, or they're up to something. What, I don't know. I honestly can't figure out how a lost dog scam would work. Who is the target? What is the desired outcome? You can't exactly steal people's identities by offering them money for finding your missing dog (can you?) so what could they be possibly trying to gain if it is a scam?
And if it isn't a scam, how could they possibly afford and justify spending this much money on "have you seen my dog?" ads? It's completely illogical and it's driving me crazy!
If they really did lose their dog I'm sad for them, but get a new fucking dog already!
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Thursday, May 17, 2012
One Of Life's Little Joys
This morning, my friend's band played on Good Day LA.
(I haven't actually watched this video so I don't know if it shows the whole segment. If it does, they're the last ninety seconds or so of it.)
They weren't on for very long but it was still the coolest fucking thing I've seen all week. There's just an awesome novelty in seeing a friend on television that I will never grow out of enjoying.
(I talked to him a bit after the taping. He said it was a lot of fun, it was cool to see all the hosts first thing in the morning without makeup and that Steve Edwards rocked out with them.)
Be seeing you.
-Sally
(I haven't actually watched this video so I don't know if it shows the whole segment. If it does, they're the last ninety seconds or so of it.)
They weren't on for very long but it was still the coolest fucking thing I've seen all week. There's just an awesome novelty in seeing a friend on television that I will never grow out of enjoying.
(I talked to him a bit after the taping. He said it was a lot of fun, it was cool to see all the hosts first thing in the morning without makeup and that Steve Edwards rocked out with them.)
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Here Goes Nothing
Look, it's me singing Every Major's Terrible (lyrics by XKCD).
Ewwwwwwwwwww!
Be seeing you.
-Sally
Ewwwwwwwwwww!
Be seeing you.
-Sally
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