Signs And Spanx

Two things have been bugging me today.
First, I watched Nostalgia Critic's review of Signs yesterday. It was very funny and he pointed out a lot of plot holes, including one that everybody points out even though it is not a plot hole and is very easily explained.
The complaint: "If water is like acid to the aliens, why would they invade a planet that's mostly water?"
The answer: You're a fucking idiot.
I will answer your question with a question of my own: Why do you think they know what water is?
You know what the whole point of aliens is? The fact that they're fucking aliens. They're not from Earth. You do realize planets that are not Earth don't have the same qualities as Earth, right? They probably all have elements that we've never heard of because they don't exist on this planet. Meaning aliens most likely don't need oxygen to survive and there's a good chance they've never encountered water before. They don't have water on their planet, they don't know what it is and, therefore, don't know it's like acid to them.
Dumbass.
The second thing that's been bugging me is Spanx (and Spanx-like products). For those of you who don't know, Spanx is a brand name pantyhose-girdle thing that holds in your stomach or butt or thighs or whatever so you can look slimmer than you actually are.
As far as I can tell, there are only two reasons to wear something like that:
1) you're on a television show and drag queens make you wear them (I have firsthand experience in this category)
2) you're trying to attract a mate
People try to put a lot of emphasis on their looks in order to attract someone to get naked with. Okay, fine, whatever. I can understand that. However, if you're putting on undergarments that make you look slimmer than you are and then are successful in finding a sex partner (be it a relationship or a one night stand, I'm not going to judge), they're going to find out that you are, in fact, fatter than you first seemed and your slenderness was actually an illusion created by really ugly undergarments.
What's the point? Why not go out and find someone who will like you for you? Be comfortable with who you are. If you're really that unhappy with your fatness, go exercise and lose some weight. Use it or lose it, baby.
In other words, I have no respect for Spanx.

Be seeing you.
-Sally