I'm Feeling Sad

"You can't just have you characters saying how they feel. That makes me feel angry!"
This blog site has a fancypants new setup so I figured I should test it out. It's confusing to me right now but I assume I'll get used to it.
I don't really feel like getting into why I'm feeling sad. 'Cause at first I was thinking it was just one of those general no-real-reason sads, but it's not. It's about a boy. And I feel like a damn stupid teenager. But that's the way things go, I guess. And that's all I'm going to say about it.
And I think I'm going to go watch Natural Born Killers.
... Actually, that's probably a terrible idea. "I'm sad about a boy. I think I'll watch a love story."
Fuck you, it is too a love story.
And I should probably pick something else to watch. Nothing else sounds good, though.
Actually, I should pick something I can doze off to, not something I'd want to pay attention to. If I'm going to rewatch Natural Born Killers I'm going to want to pay attention to it. 'Cause it's great. Seriously, more directors should try to get Quentin Tarantino to disown their movies if this is the end result.
I mean, yeah, that would mean more directors would have to make movies based on scripts Quentin Tarantino wrote, and I have a feeling he doesn't let people who aren't him direct his scripts anymore (because of Natural Born Killers) but ... what was I talking about?
Oh yeah. Tarantino bugs me. Stupid Mac Tonight.
And if I'm not going to put on Natural Born Killers, then what am I going to watch? Disney movies are usually pretty good to doze off to, but I don't have a lot of those. I refuse to try to fall asleep to Hunchback because it's the best thing Disney ever did and if I'm going to watch that movie, I'm going to freaking watch it. I've discovered I can't fall asleep to Robin Hood for some reason and so I think that leaves me with just Sleeping Beauty and The Emperor's New Groove, both of which I'm kind of tired of because they're the Disney movies I turn to when I get tired of putting on The Simpsons to fall asleep. I think I might still have The Sword In The Stone but last time I watched it I realized I don't like that movie much anymore. And the whole thing with the girl squirrel falling in love with the Merlin squirrel breaks my heart. It always has.
When I was a kid and we'd go to rent movies, I'd always take forever to choose because right when I thought I'd decided on something, I'd remember all the scenes in the movie I hated and none of the good parts, which would make me not want to rent it after all. And when it came to The Sword In The Stone, it was always the memory of the girl squirrel crying when Merlin turned back into a human that always made me put the tape back and choose, like, Soapdish or something instead.
For Adventures In Babysitting it was usually the shot of the bad guy stuck out the window of the skyscraper pathetically asking for help, and I think that's an easily avoidable after-the-credits scene. Still, though, it made me too upset to want to watch the movie.
I hate the part at the end of The Dead Zone when you find out what happens to one particular character. A character who is entirely despicable, I might add. But he looks so unbelieveably sad (and then it gets worse) and it just doesn't matter how awful he is. It hurts me to see it. I won't watch that scene.
It's weird that I can watch horror movies and see people get horribly murdered in violent, creative and gory ways, and laugh my head off the whole way through them. Maybe because there's something about them that causes a disconnect, like I always know that this is a movie and these are actors playing characters and nobody is unhappy or getting hurt. I don't know. But I feel like that doesn't matter or shouldn't matter or something.
Because generally, if I'm watching a movie and something strikes me just the right (or wrong) way, it destroys me. Like that scene at the end of The Dead Zone or the sad girl squirrel in The Sword In The Stone, or Barbossa dropping the apple he couldn't possibly have been holding if it were real life (what with all the swordfighting and all): if a character is sad or hurt or whatever, it ruins me.
My little brother once showed me a secret move on a swordfighting video game. He told me certain buttons to press to attack his character, and I did. It caused his character to collapse and a little subtitle came up where he basically said that the pain was too much and begged me to kill him. And I sat there and cried for a very long time and my mom had to get mad at him. "Why would you show her that?!"
I'm an oversensitive little twerp and, while I've gotten better at hiding it as time goes by, I've never been able to not be an oversensitive little twerp who, as my friend Lauren put it, has the ability to physically feel other people's emotional pain. Basically, I have the world's shittiest superpower.
And I don't really know why I'm talking about it. Other than I'm feeling sad and when I feel sad I ramble about my mystical sadness abilities.
It sucks when I get into this kind of mood, because I was thinking at the end of this post I could embed a Youtube video of a song that never fails to cheer me up, but when I feel like this I conveniently forget every song that makes me feel happy. Thanks a lot, brain. Thanks for being there for me in my time of need.
And I still don't know what movie to put on to try to fall asleep to. 'Cause live action doesn't work for some reason; it has to be animated. I love The Simpsons Movie but I try to only watch it when I'm sick (the movie equivalent of chicken soup, I guess?). Usually I put on DVDs of The Simpsons (TV show) but I've been through all of those so many times I just don't want to get sick of them. I need more seasons.
I just finished rewatching the first three seasons of Metalocalypse in preparation of season four premiering on Sunday (YAY!) but that show is impossible to fall asleep to. Home Movies usually works but it didn't last night and I'm just not in the mood right now. What else is there?
Why am I asking you? You don't even exist. Nobody reads this blog.
According to the page it shows me when I log in, this blog had two thousand one hundred eleven views. I find that very hard to believe. Unless all of them are me.
All right, I guess I'll wrap it up and actually go over and look at my movies and figure out where to go from there. Wish me luck!
Be seeing you.
-Sally